H&R Block Loses Exclusive Contract With Wal*Mart To Jackson Hewitt: "Hey, we still have Sears. There's still some of them open, right?"

H&R Block Loses Exclusive Contract With Wal*Mart To Jackson Hewitt: "Hey, we still have Sears. There's still some of them open, right?"

H&R Block, the tax preparation company who has taken it in the proverbial rear this tax season --after losing refund anticipation loans, their sole source of income-- they now find out that Jackson Hewitt will be the exclusive provider of tax services to Wal*Mart.

"Those Wal*Mart customers, they are our clients," said H&R Block CEO Alan Bennett, whose resume on The Ladders has received tens of views in the last six months. "The down-trodden are the people most likely to fall for one of our predatory-lending-rated Refund Anticipation Loans... if I didn't screw up and lose the financing for them."

"WHOOO HOOOO!" screamed Jackson Hewitt's new CEO Philip H. Sanford, who replaced former Jackson Hewitt (and former H&R Block) CEO Harry W. Buckley in January, during a teleconference with investors. "We have exclusive rights to Wal*Mart and we're the only refund anticipation loan game in town, and this is why I am currently doing the backstroke through a big f--king pile of money! YAYYYY!"

"While this is a significant setback," said Bennett, while packing all the sh-t in his office in banker's boxes, "Hey, we still have exclusive rights to sling taxes at Sears."

"There's still some of them open, right?"